


How to Survive a Texan Summer Day

by apple9131999



Series: The States of America [23]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Blind Character, Deaf Character, Disabled Character(s), Family, Family Fluff, Fourth of July, Old Friends, Sibling bickering, mute character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6897943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple9131999/pseuds/apple9131999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the subject of new and renewed international relationships, fireworks, and a cook-out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

From: **Destiny Bonnefoy-Carriedo-Garcia-Houston-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > Ella Carriedo-Garcia-Jones > Gabriel R. Jones > Matthew Williams > Alexa Carriedo-Braginski-Jones Garcia > Yao Wang > Lauren A. Jones > Sam Jansen-Jones > Alfred F. Jones > Robert Jansen-Oxenstierna-Jones > Arthur Kirkland > Bryan Carriedo-Bonnefoy-Jones > Francis Bonnefoy > Morgan Jones Rodriguez > Ludwig Beilschmidt > Maya K. Jones > Dylan Williams-Kirkland-Jones > Brandon Hernandez Jones > Jackson M. Jones > Feliciano Vargas > Romano Vargas > Gavin D. Jones > Kiku Honda > Lillian Jones-Lopez > Ryan L. Jones > Toris Laurinaitis > Samantha Bonnefoy-Carriedo-Jones > Sarah Bonnefoy-Jones > Brianna A. Jones > Owen B. Jones > Ashley L. Jones > Isabelle M. Jones > Hunter J. Jones > Kylie J. Jones > Anna H. Jones > William Carriedo-Garcia-Jones > Connor L. Jones > Taylor C. Jones > Aidan Jansen-Oxenstierna- Jones > Diego Carriedo-Garcia- Zah Jones > Thomas Jansen-Jones > Sydney Carriedo-Jones Cruz > Evan B. Jones > Caleb Bonnefoy-Jones > Mia Jones-Otheche > Luke P. Jones > Paige Reinhard > Gilbert Beilschmidt > Victoria Jones Torres > Ivan Braginski > Alexander C. Jones > Addison Jones > Antonio Fernandez Carriedo > Savannah N. Jones > David C. Jones > Zachary Bonnefoy-Jansen-Jones > Chloë Jones Gonzalez > Jack Carriedo-Kirkland-Jones > Elizabeth A. Jones > Carter O. Jones > Bailey Williams-Jones >

Subject: **The Fourth**

Since y'all have started with your annoying and bothersome emails about what to wear, what to bring, what time, and other nonsense, here's the master list.

Contrary to popular belief my house rarely gets hotter than 100 degrees (38 degrees celsius). Even so, it feels hotter than summers up north.

1\. Bring a lot of water, but not Nestle. Anyone who brings Nestle bottled water is getting it taken away and given to Alexa.

2\. Bring more than one bathing suit and one bottle of sunscreen (if you need the latter).

3\. Don't walk on the asphalt. Idiots.

4\. Bring a head scarf or bandanna you wouldn't mind getting wet.

5\. Shorts, tank-tops, sneakers/sandals, and sunglasses.

6\. I'm not taking you anywhere. If you want to go sightseeing, go. And don't take my car or bike. Take Mia's or Kansas'.

7\. Leave my 'accent' alone.

8\. Like New York is not just NYC, or Tennessee is not all Nashville, or Florida is not all Disney World, my house is not all desert. So stop being amazed by that.

9\. Also my people aren't going to kill you just because you're from the North ~~(New England)~~. They'll kill you because I say so.

On the subject of food, go bother Mia. Directions and shit, go bother Kansas.

-TX

* * *

 

From: **Caleb Bonnefoy-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Wow Tex, I feel so welcomed. you really know how to make a northerner feel welcome. -OH

* * *

From: **Destiny Bonnefoy-Carriedo-Garcia-Houston-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

You're uninvited, Caleb.

* * *

From: **Caleb Bonnefoy-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Rude.

* * *

From: **Artie ** >

To: Alfred F. Jones >

Subject:

America, your states are fighting in the message thread Texas sent out.

* * *

From: **Lillian Jones-Lopez** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Caleb! Of course you can come! Don't worry, Tex is just stressed out ;)

* * *

From: **America** >

To: United Kingdom >

Subject: **Re:**

I noticed. They'll bring up fireworks soon and then they'll stop. 50 bucks it's Maryland who asks it.

* * *

From: **Destiny Bonnefoy-Carriedo-Garcia-Houston-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

LIAM

* * *

From: **Destiny Bonnefoy-Carriedo-Garcia-Houston-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Also, my house, my rules. NO Caleb.

* * *

From: **Destiny Bonnefoy-Carriedo-Garcia-Houston-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

ALSO IM NOT STRESSED

* * *

 

From: **Caleb Bonnefoy-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Yes Caleb. Indiana Jones, you'll fight with me right?

* * *

From: **Artie** >

To: Alfred F. Jones >

Subject: **Re:**

That hasn't happened yet. And why aren't you trying to mediate the fight?

* * *

From: **Jackson M. Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: Re: **The Fourth**

No.

* * *

From: **America** >

To: United Kingdom >

Subject: **Re:**

That's not a fight. You should have been here for the Coke v. Pepsi fight.

* * *

From: **Caleb Bonnefoy-Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

:'(((((((((((((

Also

Rude. see if I ever sneak you beer again.

* * *

From: **Luke P. Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Speaking of, who's bringing beer?

* * *

From: **Anna H. Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Seeing as we're all underage, no one.

* * *

From: **Artie** >

To: Alfred F. Jones >

Subject: **Re:**

Then tell them to take me out of this thread. I don't need to see their petty jabbering.

* * *

From: **Victoria Jones Torres** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Sam and I'll get the beer and wine since we're closer to 21 than the rest of you.

* * *

From: **America** >

To: United Kingdom >

Subject: **Re:**

.....they don't bite. you could ask...??? they might not listen though...

* * *

 

From: **Brianna A. Jones** >

To: Jasmine Jones Diaz > Kira Braginski-Jones > _/show more/_

Subject: **Re: The Fourth**

Hey, who's bringing the fireworks?

* * *

From: **America** >

To: United Kingdom >

Subject: **Re:**

Also, I win!

* * *

From: **Artie** >

To: Alfred F. Jones >

Subject: **Re:**

How am I supposed to know if that's even Maryland??? I don't know any of their names!


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein we meet Colorado, Nebraska, and Wyoming, Alfred wants to kill everyone in his car/bus/kinda stolen coach bus, South Carolina also wants to kill people in his car, and someone gets dunked in ice water.
> 
> Ahh Summer...

There were already several cars in the driveway when Bailey, Connor, and Lauren pulled up in Bailey's dusty and dented Subaru. Bailey threw it in park and stared at the house.

“Do you think anyone is even up?” he asked Connor, trying to keep his voice down for Lauren napping in the backseat.

Connor looked up at him, barely hiding his disappointment. “I don’t know, maybe the people who live here and didn’t just drive for over 24 hours non-stop. It’s ten in the morning.”

“Summer’s meant for sleeping in,” he muttered as he killed the engine and opening his door so he could stretch out his legs. Lauren blinked awake behind them and yawned loudly, easing herself into a sitting position. She slouched forward onto Connor’s seat.

Connor’s phone buzzed in his hand. He looked down at it.

Thursday, July 2 10:07 AM **wheat and nukes** : _You guys said you’d be arriving soon, right? I’m up (and others-jet lag and time zones). So just park and come on in. Sydney and Hunter made breakfast. :) -Liam_

Thursday, July 2 10:08 AM **overallllllls** : _We’re actually right outside._

Thursday, July 2 10:08 AM **wheat and nukes** : _Ahh you guys are quick. Get in here! :)_

“Liam’s up, at least. They’ve got breakfast-”

“Perfec’,” Lauren slurred and fumbled for her car door. “‘M sta’vin’.”

Connor chuckled lightly as he got out just in time to see Lauren stumble in the bright light of Fredericksburg, Texas. Bailey hopped out and slammed his door shut, going around to shut Lauren’s as she made her way with Connor up the walkway and into the house.

The house was filled with muted chatter, as though everyone were still half asleep, but the majority of the noise was from their left, the kitchen.

Liam appeared in the doorway, their hair tied behind their head in a sleepy, bead-head ridden ponytail. They were wearing a ratty sweatshirt with faded lettering that hung off of their shoulders and cargo shorts. “Howdy,” they greeted, smiling as Lauren pushed past them and into the kitchen, following the smell of food.

As Connor neared them, they threw an arm around his shoulders. “Howdy, brother.”

“Howdy, sibling,” Connor greeted back. Liam glanced over their shoulder, looking for Bailey.

“Where’s the Bae?”

“He should be right behind us,” Connor mused as the two stepped into the kitchen. Liam smiled.

Sydney was standing by the stove, humming to herself as she cooked pancakes. Hunter could be seen through the glass sliding doors onto the patio, most likely frying bacon. Savannah was gnawing on an apple core as she supervised Sydney. Ryan, Jasmine, and Samantha were sitting at the breakfast table. Samantha was cutting Jasmine’s pancakes as Jasmine and Ryan chatted. Lauren was now slouched on the counter next to Savannah and eyeing the griddle as Sydney cooked.

Liam picked a mug off of the counter top and took a long sip before sliding into a stool and unlocking their phone. “Tex took Mia, Ella, Diego, Gabe, and Kylie out to the campsite to set up. Great Lakes, minus Carter, are all sleeping. They got in around midnight today. Minnie, Carter Gav, Anna, Dylan, and the Dakotas are scheduled for around lunchtime, and Alex, Morgan, and Bryan should be here before dinner.”

“When’s D.C. coming?” Connor asked as he eased into the stool next to Liam.

“Tomorrow night, he’s got everybody but Canada and he’s leaving at lunchtime today.”

Connor snorted. “What is he driving them in? A bus?”

Liam’s expression was serious as they looked up at Connor. “Yes.”

Connor scoffed disbelievingly, “You’ve got to be kidding.”

Liam fought down a smile as they shook their head. “Nope. He rented one of those Peter Pan buses and is driving down in it.”

“Oh my god.”

“New England got one too,” Liam continued, snickering openly now. “They’re going to get in around three tomorrow; they left Hartford an hour before you guys arrived. They’re picking up , the Mid-East, plus Chloe and Lizzie on their way through, so maybe later than that.”

“Wait, how’s Canada getting here if he’s not on D.C.’s country band wagon?”

Liam chuckled at Connor’s phrasing. “He picked up Kira -same as literally every year, God Connor why can’t you remember this- and then drove down to Seattle and Portland to pick up Jack and Luke. They’ve got a flight to Austin for tonight. Destiny’s going to pick them up when they land.” Liam then looked at him down the bridge of their nose, their eyes narrowed. “Y’know, Nebr- _ass_ -ka, if this is a test, you should just say so next time.”

“I’ve got to keep you on your toes some how. What about Hawaii?”

“She flew into Sacramento yesterday. She and Alexa left this morning for Vegas and then Utah, and should arrive tomorrow morning.” Liam smirked, “Boom. Fight me.”

* * *

Thursday, July 2 10:46 AM **worse than me <3**: _im so pissed off right now_

Thursday, July 2 10:46 AM **the best south** : _wtf ev were in the same car rn_

Thursday, July 2 10:46 AM **worse than me <3**: _addie has anyone ever told you that youre a little shit_

Thursday, July 2 10:47 AM **the best south** : _wowowowow you realy r angry- no puncuatinon_

Thursday, July 2 10:47 AM **worse than me <3**: _addie_

Thursday, July 2 10:47 AM **the best south** : _fine whats got your knickers in a twist now..._

Thursday, July 2 10:50 AM **worse than me <3**: _did you see the sign for gas we just passed?? it was like $2- what is that why does that exist why does mia get to have cheaper gas than me when i like make all of it its just unjust wtf obama_

Thursday, July 2 10:47 AM **the best south** : _......(・・？)_

* * *

“So, _Америка_ , where are we going again?”

“Texas.”

“Where’s that?”

“By Mexico.”

“Where in-?”

“Fredericksburg.”

“Where’s that?”

“By Austin.”

_“Где?”_

“Near San Antonio.”

“I don’t understand, _Америка.”_

“We are going to Fredericksburg, Texas. Texas is the second biggest state and contains the southernmost point in the US. She also sent out the email to y’all. Now hush, I have to pay toll.”

* * *

“-Unfortunately everyone knows your exact measurement `down there`,” Morgan said with a rather pointed look to Bryan’s crotch. Alex’s right eye twitched.

Bryan only grinned in response. “Fortunately it’s very impressive.”

Alex held back a scream as Morgan started to laugh. “Unfortunately,” she said through her giggles, “that’s not what everyone values.”

“But fortunately I have other redeeming qualities.”

“Like?”

Bryan grinned wider. “Disney World.”

Alex’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. They were almost to Beaumont, then Bryan would take over and drive the rest of the way so that he could _sleep_. Then he wouldn’t have to listen to the two immature idiots behind him.

“Ooo oo! New game! A, my name is Annie, my husband’s name is Andy, we live in Alabama, and we sell apples. B, go!”

“B, my name is Bryan, my husband’s name is Benny, we live in the Bahamas-”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Yes it does, we live in the Bahamas, and we sell bananas.”

“C, my name is Cindy, my husband’s name is Clark, we live in California, and we sell condoms.”

The back seat was filled with hysterical laughter as Alex screamed shrilly in his mind. 30 minutes, only thirty more minutes.

“Wait- Alex, you should play too~!” Bryan said excitedly, leaned forward to rest his head next to the driver’s side headrest. Alex stiffened in his seat.

“No thank you.”

 

“Aw, come on.”

“I said no.”

“Party pooper.”

“Come on,” Morgan said as she jumped on the bandwagon, “it’s easy, Alex. You’ve got ‘d’.”

“No.”

Bryan was making a valiant effort to suppress his giggles as he asked, “Come on, South, don’t you want the ‘d’?”

Alex swerved out of reflex, his face reddening as Morgan and Bryan were left to fall to the side, still giggling. “I swear to God, you two. You’d think I’m the oldest.”

“You’re like four years older than me, bucko,” Morgan said, sticking her tongue out.

“We’re the same _age_.”

“Are not-”

“Oh my god, you two don’t start arguing colonial versus national ages. Besides I’m the oldest, remember?”

* * *

Thursday, July 2 1:13 PM **smol va** : ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡ （｀Δ´）(╬ಠ益ಠ) (-̀◞▥◟-́) (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ (*´罒`*) (ಠ ∩ಠ) ｴｴｯ?工ｴｴｪｪ(๑̀⚬⚬́๑)ｪｪｴｴ工!!! ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ ┗(｀皿´)┛.·´¯`(>▂ 

Thursday, July 2 1:30 PM **ten** : _u ok there west?_

Thursday, July 2 1:31 PM **smol va** : _theyRE LETTING MASS DRIVE_ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ щ(ºДºщ) щ(ಠ益ಠщ) щ(ಥДಥщ) Щ(ಠ益ಠЩ)

* * *

The Texan countryside was calm the afternoon of the second of July. In a field near a ranch, yellowed grass waved gently back and forth in the barest of winds that kissed the ground and the sunburned cheeks of little children that ran away from the grasp of their parents.

“Gabriel, I swear to God, stop trying to talk and hold that side of the tent.”

A perfect day to rest outside under the shade of a tree. A day to fly through the air before falling into a wild stream, only to reappear in seconds completely soaked. A peaceful day to have watermelon juice smeared across your face and the tangy taste of lemonade on your tongue.

“If you stop complaining and _work_ , then you can take a break faster.”

Or it was perfect day to curl up in an air conditioned library, or visit the Museum in the center of town. Or to take a drive down to Port Lavaca for the weekend.

“Mia, where are you going?”

It was a beautiful day to relax outside on a lawn chair and one of those shiny plates to bask in the sun and either melt or burn like crazy because all sunscreen you had been wearing was sweated off.

_Splash._

…

“ _Run_ Mia.”

It was a good day to question yourself, as you woke to a stinging around your neck and a lobster-esque complexion, why you had chosen to go to one of the hottest states in the middle of the summer when you could have chosen another state, one significantly colder than Texas, like- I don’t know- Alaska maybe?

“MIA!”

Though, if one were to take advice from Oklahoma, a Texan summer day, such as this one, was a perfect opportunity to take the cooler that had at one point held beverages for the six of them but was now a swamp of ice water and fish out what remaining drinks were floating. Once all beverages were safely placed in the burning grass, the cooler was hefted up -with help from New Mexico- and brought over to an irritated and overheated Texas and then swiftly dumped over her head. The next step seemed to be to run like hell towards the ranch house, chased by Texas and a laughing entourage.

“Liam! Save me~!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you didn't get it:  
> wheat and nukes: Kansas  
> overallllls: Nebraska  
> worse than me <3: N. Dakota  
> the best south: S. Dakota  
> smol va: W. Virginia  
> ten: tennessee


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plane touches down in Fredericksburg, Montana is confused by other states' need to have a speed limit, California and Hawai'i brave the Nevada highway to reach Utah, New Hampshire finally texts Kentucky, and West Virginia almost stabs Massachusetts.

The airport was muggy and Kira felt her eyelids droop as they walked lethargically to the entrance, where Destiny should be waiting. She walked beside Matt, the two of them behind Luke and Jack -who were probably arguing in that snide way that her siblings tended to do when she was around. Jack was irritated that xe had had to drive from Seattle to Portland, but Luke had only to drive twenty or so minutes to the airport. Kira had sat between the two of them on the flight and she could tell that Jack was ready to snap and Luke was defensive.

Though if they were to ask her, Kira would think that Canada had the most right to be irritated at the uneven distribution of driving hours. He had picked her up in Hyder and crossed back into Canada and drove south for a good while until Seattle.

In the car, she had made her case for Vancouver Island, as she did every year, which never failed to make him laugh and tell her to take it up with British Columbia. Then again, he couldn’t really watch the road and her hands so he missed a good portion of her explanations. She should try again, maybe before D.C. convinced everyone to get plastered again.

Destiny greeted them outside with a handshake for the two boys and Jack, but wrapped Kira in a warm hug.

Kira liked hugging her family -she also really liked in the dead of the winter, at Christmas or New Years, to sneak up behind them and stick her fingers in their collars (Maya was the best to do it to and Kira relished in the giant jump Maya did every time. Maya always tried to get back at her for it, but by the time Maya was at her hottest, it only felt nice against Kira’s chilled skin). But the reason she liked hugging them, especially the southern states, was because they were at a constant warmth and it felt nice to have a little more of heat permeate her body through the hug, grounding her and reminding her that she was still one of them even if she was so much colder than them.

Hugging her Canadian cousins wasn’t half as satisfying. They were just as cold as she was.

Destiny slung an arm around Kira’s shoulders and the five of them walked to her car. One of these days, Kira promises herself over and over again, she will make an effort to remind her siblings that while she is in fact very deaf, she was not, however, without her other senses and could manage not to get herself admitted into a hospital on a daily basis. And while she appreciated the concern, it was not needed after nearly a hundred years.

Nonetheless, she let herself be led to the car. Maybe at the party, she could get Maya to help her complain to Sydney -who was just as babied, but she had a fiery streak so she had better not catch you babying her.

Destiny tossed the keys to Jack and slid into the seat next to Kira. “You excited?” she asked.

“Yes.” Then Kira paused and eyed Destiny’s hair. It was messy, almost like she hadn’t brushed it yet today, but that couldn’t be right because Destiny was meticulous about her hair. “Your hair?”

She rolled her eyes. “My hair? Mia pour water on.”

Kira wrinkled her nose in amusement. “Why?”

Destiny blew some fringe out of her face. “Me hot.”

“Always you hot.”

Destiny laughed, drawing the attention of the other occupants of the car. “Me Texas.”

The car jerked as Jack viciously stamped on the brake in front of Destiny’s house, making them bounce around the back seats. Xe parked the car, cut the engine, and stormed out, slamming the door shut. Luke slunk out of the passenger seat and stormed after xym.

“I’m going to kick his ass,” Destiny muttered. She turned to Kira. “Washington? Wrong?”

“Yesterday Washington drive car. Washington tired.”

Destiny shrugged and slid out of the car. “Go get my keys,” she signs before marching up to her house. Kira and Matt shared an amused glance before walking to the ranch, side by side. Kira felt her stomach growl heavily and from Matt’s expression, it was a rather loud or aggressive growl. She blushed hotly and shoved him when she noticed him laughing.

* * *

Thursday, July 2 7:00 PM **hannah montana** : have i ever told you how much your highways suck?

Thursday, July 2 7:05 PM **roaming** : speed limit? did you get pulled over again?

Thursday, July 2 7:21 PM **hannah montana** : you can’t prove anything

Thursday, July 2 7:26 PM **roaming** : weren’t you guys supposed to be in like 5 hours ago.

Thursday, July 2 7:33 PM **hannah montana** : we would have been if nd and sd didn’t get lost and you didn’t have a fucking speed limit

Thursday, July 2 7:36 PM **roaming** : ill tell liam 4 u...

* * *

“Okay, that is enough of that,” Maya muttered as the last strains of the song died out.

Alexa pouted from the driver’s seat. “Aw come on, I have at least one more song.”

“Nuh-uh, you said you had until we passed the exit for Route 306, and-” she waved a hand towards the exit sign “-we just passed it.”

Alexa rolled her eyes skyward and sighed. “Fine, but none of that hippy dippy I-Lava-You mumbo jumbo that you played yesterday.”

“It’s a cute song,” Maya muttered as she replaced Alexa’s playlist for hers.

“I’m sure it is, the _first_ time.”

Maya stuck her tongue out as _Island Style_ began playing. “Yea and that Spanish song you were playing earlier doesn’t grate at your ears?”

“That wasn’t one song and you know it.” Alexa tilted to her head as she listened. “Y’know, Maya, you’ve been playing this for three years now, and I still can’t tell what he says.”

“-...Mama's in the kitchen cooking dinner real nice, Beef stew on the stove, lomi salmon with the ice. We eat and drink and we sing all day, _Kanikapila_ in the old Hawaiian way, On the Island~,” Maya sang along, winking at Alexa. “Well how can you understand all that fast Spanish.”

“We’ll just have to get Baja to come teach you some day,” Alexa said. She succeeded in holding back her laughter until Maya made a retching sound.

“Ew! NO! I don’t want anything to do with you and your girlfriend’s gross foreplay or whatever the hell you call it.”

Alexa howled louder at that, even as her face heated up. "You're just jealous because you're not dating anybody."

"Don't want to date anybody- yuck."

"That'll change."

"Told me that in '63, Lexi- it's not happening."

Did she? Well hmm... "Why not?"

Hawai’i was leaning back in the passenger seat, knees resting against her door, arms folded and watching the cars pass theirs. She shrugged. "I dunno. It's just...weird. Like do you have to pick out someone out of everyone and put them on a pedestal. Like what makes them so special?"

_Island Gurl_ replaced _Island Style_ as Alexa switched lanes. Scanning through the list of songs on her playlist, Alexa commented, "You have a lot of songs about islands, don't you?"

Maya leveled an unimpressed stare at her. "Oh no no no. I have none. I don't know why you thought that. Why would an island state like songs about islands? That's just stupid. It's almost like expecting me to like Hawaiian music or something."

"Damn, would you like some fries with your salt? Speaking off..."

"We are not going to one of your damn In-and-Out's."

"I was thinking about maybe McDonalds- their fries are just as salty as you...Or are you hungry?"

"No."

"Okay then we'll grab something when we pick the two of them up. Can you reach back and grab me a water, please?"

Maya did, but she paused before handing it to Alexa. "You feeling okay?"

"It's nothing new," Alexa muttered as she grabbed for the water. "I'm going to be out of water by next year, so it's just something to get used to." The passenger side grew quiet even as a new song replaced the old- one that Hawai'i had lip synced to yesterday with unusual fervor.

Alexa looked over to find Maya staring out the window, looking morose and stressed.

"Maya, I was kidding. I'll get a rainy season soon. My reservoirs aren't anywhere near drying up."

"It wasn't funny."

"Oh please, even if I lose all of my water, don't you think at least _one_ person from our family will drop literally everything and rush to help me? I hear the Northern states complaining constantly about all the snow they get- a few of them sent snow to me this winter, those punks."

"Who?"

"Well I know Massachusetts definetly did because there was a note saying something about the snow in Boston not melting until July and if I needed any then he'll send it all-"

"No, who would drop everything?"

Alexa smirked at Maya. "Oh I don't know, maybe the man who fought tooth and nail to be his own country, who took in fifty little things and tried to make them as happy as he could, who is so insanely protective that it drives all of us up a wall. Maybe the one who you almost shot when you found out the reason we were all so interested in vacationing in Hawaii during the Korean War was because he wanted to keep an eye on you. Hmm now who could that be?"

Maya stared with a blank expression at Alexa. "...Sam?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Yes," Maya said just as her smile overtook her face. "I know you meant Al."

"Y'know I'm going to tell Sam that and you'll see why you're lucky not to have had to be jointly raised by them and Vickie."

"Everybody loves me."

Alexa rolled her eyes and made a noise in her throat. Her phone pinged from the cup holder next to Maya where the latter had snatched it back in Sacramento and refused to let Alexa have it. She picked up the phone and frowned.

“New York says _‘tentoumushi_ , your move’?”

“Send back _‘զատիկ’_ and tell him to kiss my ass and that I hate the new rule.”

“I don’t know what language you just-”

“Armenian- the jackass decided that I have to do European languages while he does Asian, which is totally not fair because he gets more Asians than I do Europeans.”

“But why,” Maya asked as she switched the language on the phone, “are you two screaming ladybug back and forth at each other? Or at least I’m assuming because I don’t know any Armenian.”

“Eh loser has to buy dinner where the winner says and I’m not going over to eat at any of his stupid backwater restaurants.”

Maya rolled her eyes and slouched in her seat, mumbling something that sounded like, “Literally did not clarify anything, thanks Cal’.”

* * *

Thursday, July 2 11:27 PM (Atlantic Time) **New Hampshire** : your highways are sketchy.

Thursday, July 2 7:00 AM (Central Time) **fried chicken** : this is the first time you’ve texted me since 2010 and its to tell me that my highways are sketchy wtf

* * *

"The day I let you drive is a cold day in Hell, indeed."

"I'm a good driver. We wouldn't be in traffic if I was driving."

"You're right, we would be in a car accident."

"Sam lets me drive, right Sam?"

"Owen, I'm trying to sleep."

"I'm not Sam and you're not. Driving. This. Bus."

"Besides," Sam mumbled from the chair they were slouched rather uncomfortably, "I only let you drive when I couldn't because of my ankle."

Owen pouted and wandered back to where Sam was and let Elizabeth drive in relative peace. "I'm a good driver, right Sam?"

"Uhmm," Sam muttered sleepily.

"Sam," Owen repeated before trying to squeeze into their seat. The noise Sam made was like a turkey and they flailed their arms, whacking Owen repeatedly and rousing Victoria- who had been curled up in the seat next to Sam.

She blinked at them tiredly. "Boys, if you're going to cuddle, do it in the back."

"Aidan's in the back-"

"He _SAT_ on me!"

"Victoria, am I a good driver?"

Victoria blinked at him for a few moments. "All questions must be submitted in writing. G'night." And then promptly fell asleep.

"Am I really that bad of a driver?"

"You're called a Masshole for a reason."

"You wanna go, Tom?"

Tom looked over the edge of his magazine. "Just stating facts." He returned to his magazine.

"Jeez, Owen," Sam muttered as they shoved an arm out to stop Owen from collapsing down again. "Don't act so hurt, you have the sticker on your _freaking car_. Now can I just sleep, please?"

"But who else could I harass?"

"I don't know; Sarah, Taylor, Zachary, Aidan, Paige, Brianna, Robert, or Chloe? Just not Elizabeth or _me_."

"What about Tom?"

Tom flipped Owen the bird as he read.

"Asking you two to get along for this little car ride was harrowing enough. We have to get the two of you _back_ this way, remember that. Go talk to Sarah, you know how much she loves talking to you."

"Ah yes, let's reminisce about that one time that I was actually older than you- oh wait, can't remember that."

"Not my _fault._ "

" _Fine_. I'll go talk about the weather- which is never a good topic of conversation-"

" _Owen_."

"Jeez, sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Hannah Montana'= Montana  
> 'roaming'= Wyoming  
> 'New Hampshire'= New Hampshire  
> 'fried chicken'= Kentucky


End file.
